By Paul Rose (with apologies to Samuel Beckett)
A road. A tree. Evening.
ESTRAGON: What do we do now?
VLADIMIR: While waiting.
ESTRAGON: While waiting.
Silence
VLADIMIR: We could do our exercises
ESTRAGON: Our Netflix
VLADIMIR: Our Amazon Prime
ESTRAGON: Our Crave
VLADIMIR: Our Apple TV
ESTRAGON: Our YouTube
VLADIMIR: Our Hulu
ESTRAGON: Our Disney
VLADIMIR: Our News
ESTRAGON: That’s enough. I’m tired.
VLADIMIR: Slacker!
ESTRAGON: That’s the idea, let’s abuse each other.
They turn, social distance and face each other
VLADIMIR: Hand cougher!
ESTRAGON: Hand sneezer!
VLADIMIR: Non-essential!
ESTRAGON: Hoarder!
VLADIMIR: Price Gouger!
ESTRAGON: (with finality) Trrrump!
VLADIMIR: Oh!
He wilts, vanquished, and turns away.
Pause
ESTRAGON: Let’s go.
VLADIMIR: We can’t.
ESTRAGON: Why not?
VLADIMIR: We’re waiting for vaccine.
ESTRAGON: Ah! (he sits and is soon dozing)
Pause
VLADIMIR: Was I sleeping, while the others suffered? Am I sleeping now? To-morrow, when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of to-day? That with Estragon, my friend, at this place, until the fall of night, I waited for vaccine? That we watched Netflix, Amazon and Trump? But in all that what truth will there be?
Enter Boy right
BOY: Mister…
VLADIMIR: Do you have vaccine?
BOY: No sir.
VLADIMIR: But WHO sent you?
BOY: Yes sir.
VLADIMIR: And you’ll come back tomorrow?
BOY: Yes sir.
VLADIMIR: Without fail?
BOY: Yes sir.
Boy exits right. Estragon wakes.
VLADIMIR: Well? Shall we go?
ESTRAGON: Yes, let’s go.
They do not move.
Curtain